Crazy Doc

A businessman took his clients out to dinner last week and he noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of the waiter as he handed them the menus. It seemed a little odd, but he dismissed it as a random thing. The busboy came with the water and tableware; he too sported a spoon in his breast pocket. He looked around the dining room, and all the waiters and busboys have spoons in their breast pockets. When the waiter returned to take their orders, he just had to ask, "Why the spoons?". "Well," the waiter explained, "our parent company recently hired some consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil, at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per work station. By preparing our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift." Just as the waiter concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced the fallen spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of making a special trip," he proudly explained. The businessman was impressed. "Thanks, I had to ask." "No problem," the waiter answered. Then he continued to take the orders. As the members of the dinner party took their turns ordering, that's when out of the corner of his eye, the businessman spotted a thin black thread protruding from the waiter's fly. Again, he dismissed it, yet he had to scan the room and, sure enough, there were other waiters and busboys with strings hanging out of their trousers. The curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before the waiter could leave, the businessman had to ask. "Excuse me, but...uhm...why, or what about that string?" "Oh yeah," the waiter began in a quieter tone," not many people are that observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the men's room, too." "How's that?" the businessman asked. "You see, by tying a string to the end of our, uh, selves, we can pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the washroom by over 93%!" "Hey, if the strings help you pull it out, how do you get it back in?" asked the businessman. "Well," the waiter whispered, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

Elwyn Mallari, RN
San Francisco General Hospital